I am usually of the opinion that attention whores should be ignored. However, when a large, misguided and (sadly) influential organization like People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals promotes something so egregious as The Animal Activist’s Handbook by Matt Ball and Bruce Friedrich, I feel it is a moral imperative to reply.

From the press release:

Friedrich explains the importance of socializing and breaking bread with meat-eaters–and even dating them. After all, he explains, boycotting holiday meals or applying a vegan litmus test to our love lives will only alienate friends and family and cut down on our dating pool and sphere of influence.

First, I’m very fortunate to have a vegan husband. I realize that not every vegan is so lucky; but personally I would never have dated someone who wasn’t vegan, any more than I would have dated someone who was conservative, pro-capitalist, sexist, or racist. Having similar moral and ethical foundations is important in a relationship.

Second, I have non-vegan friends. I sometimes eat with them in non-vegan restaurants, or go to their non-vegan parties. But I always make sure that there is food available for me, either by working out beforehand what I can have, or by bringing my own, and my non-vegan friends have been – for the most part – very supportive and respectful of this. All that said, I still avoid events like barbeques, fondue parties, and clambakes. I am not comfortable in such settings, and I see no reason to subject myself and others to my presence there.

The press release goes on to say:

He suggests that meat-eaters should be fed faux meat rather than ethnic or other less familiar foods as their introduction to vegetarianism, and he argues against questioning waiters in restaurants about the ingredients in menu items.

Aside from the racist undertones of dismissing “ethnic” food, this is simply terrible advice overall. I’ve taken non-vegan friends to great vegan restaurants that serve faux meat. While I and many other long-time vegans enjoy the food at such places, many non-vegans do not. It does not compare with the real meat omnivores are used to. It creates the illusion that vegans are depriving themselves by having “inferior” foods, and that going vegan is both expensive and difficult. In contrast to that, my husband Dino – who is originally from India – cooked at our wedding and other gatherings of non-vegans. The same people who were put off by the faux meats greatly enjoyed Dino’s cooking. For those of you who are familiar with his cookbook, podcast, or blog, you know how Dino feels about faux meats.

Finally, while I sometimes eat at non-vegan restaurants, I always make sure that what I’m ordering is vegan. It isn’t that difficult; it doesn’t put non-vegans off; and it opens dialogue with non-vegan friends about why I won’t eat certain things. It also lets my friends know that veganism is something I take seriously, and that it matters to me to be ethically consistent.

When PeTA manages to get so much wrong, I have to wonder if they are really interested in the ethical treatment of animals.

I’m going to just come out and say this.

If you eat honey, then you are not vegan.

If you eat cheese that was thrown in a dumpster, then you are not vegan.

If you eat fish, chicken, or “seafood,” then you are not vegetarian.

A vegan is someone who, by definition, strives to abstain from using all animal and animal-derived products. Honey is a product of bees. Bees are insects. Insects are arthropods. Arthropods are animals. Ergo, honey is an animal product. Likewise, cheese comes from the milk of cows or goats. Whether or not it was thrown away is irrelevant.

Likewise, chickens are animals. Fish are animals. Other sea creatures are animals. There are no “partial vegetarians.” If you eat some animals or all animals, or only on certain days of the week, or only on holidays, then you are not a vegetarian.

I am a vegan for ethical reasons. I do not wish to participate in the unnecessary and cruel use of animals. It is not simply a matter of not paying money for animal products. Animals are not here for us to use. Whether or not cheese is bought in a store or found in a dumpster, it is not food.

If you call yourself vegan or vegetarian, but still eat animals or animal products, please stop confusing omnivores. Stop rendering the words vegan and vegetarian meaningless with hypocrisy and logical inconsistency.

Stop using animals.

If I had a dime for every time someone told me I was being divisive, “mean,” or self-righteous, I’d go out and buy a pack of Peanut Chews.

In the events leading up to the split between News & Letters Committees and the Marxist-Humanist Committee, I was told I had no right to criticize older members, because they understand Marxism more than I do. This claim completely ignored the fact that I was joining several of the other older members in that criticism – individuals whose understanding of Marxism is well-renowned.

I’ve been told in vegan and animal rights activist circles that I should not criticize people who protest fur and neglect other animal rights issues, because these people are increasing awareness of the problem by getting people to think about the issues. I’ve seen no evidence to demonstrate this. Many people are against fur already, and never make the connection to realize that leather and meat are just as wrong. And yet, when I’ve expressed my frustration with activists waste time with this approach, instead of advocating directly for veganism, I’m accused of being self-righteous.

If we don’t allow open and honest criticism in activist circles, if we don’t allow dissenting thoughts to be voiced from within, if we are expected to go along with “the organization” or “the movement” uncritically and without thought, what can we even begin to hope to accomplish? If we keep doing the same shit, we’ll keep getting the same shit. We don’t all think alike, nor should we. We don’t always agree on the best approach. We shouldn’t stifle our voices for the sake of some bullshit false unity.

We need to be able to express our criticisms openly and honestly, without passive-aggressiveness. We need to be willing to concede to reason when reason shows us the error of our ways. We need organization that reflects our values of democracy, honesty, and freedom of speech.

We do not have the right to be above criticism. We do not have the right to live without being offended. This is not self-righteousness.

My fellow activists, get over yourselves.

At that party the other night, where someone was complaining about the Vegan Freak Forums, I suggested that person join the Vegan Represent Forums instead.  Someone else pointed out the various faults with those forums and some people on there.  I won’t go into those alleged faults here, because I don’t do that sort of thing.  (Notice a pattern here?)

Here’s the thing with the Internets and with all the other ways humans organize themselves: we’re human!  We’re going to fuck up, make mistakes, disagree, upset each other, get pissed off, have misunderstandings, and not always like each other.  It’s a part of being alive.  We shouldn’t expect to find a utopia, on the Internet or IRL.  They don’t exist.

Like I said before, if you really think you can do better, start your own online community.  Eventually, if you’re successful, you’ll have to make hard decisions, and some people won’t like them, or you.  You will be called a nazi, fascist, authoritarian, or just plain mean.  You cannot make everyone happy, all you can do is try to keep some order.  The Internet is full of trolls, attention whores, and idiots.  Their behavior should not be tolerated.  Not everyone agrees on what behavior qualifies as trollish, and sometimes people make mistakes.  Sometimes trolls have the best intentions.  Sometimes things that are seemingly unoffensive to the poster reflect that persons insensitivity or ignorance to the plight of others.  Whether or not the cause is ignorance or malice, it shouldn’t be tolerated.

There are no utopias.  We can only do our best in the communities we have, for now.

I know I’ve ranted about this before, but after the potluck I was at Saturday night, it’s worth repeating.

I would have had a lovely time at the potluck, were it not for the fact that there were some disgruntled members of the Vegan Freak Forums there, who felt it appropriate to spend the entire night complaining about how the forums are run, how the mods are Nazis (Godwin’s Law), etc. etc.

The people who run the forums are providing a service, of their own good free will, and they have no obligations or duty to do so.  It is up to those people to run it as they see fit.  If you don’t like it, you have no obligation to stay there.  Start your own forums, or find a community that better suits you.  If we ban someone, that’s our discretion.  If you don’t like our decisions, go away.  Honestly, why is that so difficult to understand for some people?  Why do all these people feel entitled, like we owe them an explanation as to how we run things?

People need to grow up.

On the other hand, why should I give a flying fuck what these people think?  I really don’t.  They just wanted to vent about decisions we’ve made; so be it.  I’m not going to read too much into what people say at a party after having a few drinks.  I don’t think, in the case of some people, it was necessarily a personal attack.  (Okay, the Nazi remark is, but so the fuck what?)  I’m not going to read too much into this, as the complaints say more about the complianer’s sense of entitlement than about anything we’re doing.  And the fact of the matter is, we’re still a vibrant and active community.  So we must be doing something right.

With all due Christian love and respect, all I can say is fuck the haters.  They can go play elsewhere.

September 22 marks yet another rodeo event in Davie, FL. Cows are being held in a small, fenced-off piece of land near a major road, where they are subject to the noises of traffic day and night, only to be trucked off and brutally tortured for “entertainment.” If you live in or near Davie, don’t support the rodeo. If you wish to help organize a legal protest, please contact me.

ETA: I just realized that I’m going to be in NYC the day of the Rodeo.  I’ll still help organize any way I can.

The Internets are ruining my life. I’m on sites I never dreamed I’d be on. I’m on friggin’ MySpace, FFS! I’m also on other forums and networking sites. I spend way too much time wondering why people haven’t responded to friend requests yet. It’s so silly, I forget that people have better things to do, including myself.

I went to yet another church last Sunday, this time it was a Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). The service was nice, albeit a little boring. They had a fellowship dinner following the service. I explained I’m a vegan and don’t go to any meals where meat is served. So I went home. I can’t stand to be in the presence of people as they’re eating flesh. I can barely stand to be in the presence of vegetarians as they’re eating eggs or dairy. Why do people find it so difficult to extend basic compassion to those outside their own species? I think most people would go vegan if they had to do the dirty business of “food” acquisition themselves.

My PC is on the fritz. I need to replace the heatsink. It’s easy enough to do once I can get around to getting the replacement part. In the meantime, I’m on an old Mac iBook. It wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t so slow and the touchpad wasn’t so friggin’ sensitive. Every time I’m typing something, the cursor will jump to wherever the pointer is, and I get annoyed.

Christmas day I’ll be flying back up North to see my friends and family. I haven’t seen them since moving down here in August. It’ll be nice to see everyone, but I’m going to miss my husband, who is staying home because he can’t handle the cold.