Sexuality Rant
Two remarkable things have been happening in the news lately.
First, there’s a remarkable number of stories about the so-called ex-gay treatments, and a number of people who have participated in these have come forward recently to discredit the claims of those organizations. See Former Ex-Gay Leader Smid Can No Longer Condemn Gays and Participant Discredits the Original Ex-Gay Study, for example. Most likely this has been a result of Michele and Marcus Bachmann being in the political spotlight, exposure of Mr. Bachman’s clinic as offering such treatments, and media speculation of his own sexuality.
I don’t need to tell my readers about the dangers of ex-gay ministries, and the damage they have caused to many young queer individuals, including depression, PTSD, and suicide. The notion that one could willingly change one’s own sexuality is both absurd and harmful.
The second thing that has cropped up in the news is the Chris Birch story, about a Rugby player who suffered a stroke after a freak accident, and finds himself gay. The thing that struck me the most about this remarkable story isn’t the account of events, but the hostile reaction of LGBTQ individuals who believe he was always gay, but the stroke made him uninhibited. Many of the posts I’ve seen on the internet about this story have come off as angry and judgmental. This, coming from an oppressed minority, directed towards someone who is a part of that minority, is downright disgraceful.
Only Chris Birch knows the truth about what happened, and his sexuality is his own business.
Human sexuality is dynamic. Most of us find ourselves exclusively or almost exclusively attracted to one gender, but not all. This is what drives many of us progressive queers to embrace the all-inclusive term “queer.” Many of the struggles I face socially and politically are similar to others in the queer community, whether they be lesbian, bisexual, transgender, genderqueer, asexual, etc. While I am a gay man, married to another gay man, and it is unlikely anything will ever change that, neither I nor anyone else can dictate how another person experiences their sexuality. Provided they do not harm others or themselves, it is no body else’s business.
The dynamism of human sexuality does not mean that it can be willingly changed. Ex-gay therapy is still dangerous, and has no place in a civilized society. This is what I believe is behind the anger of the queer community about Mr. Birch’s story, but it is a misdirected anger. That anger should be directed towards those who would use Mr. Birch’s story to argue that if people can go gay, they can go straight. It should be directed at those religious who propose that only one sexuality is correct. It should be directed at those bullies who drive young people to want to change their sexuality.
Just like I don’t want the government in my bedroom, I wouldn’t want anyone else in there uninvited either. People need to mind their own damn business.
