Letting Go

I cling to the past.  It’s not a healthy habit, and it’s one I intend to break.

I enjoy reminiscing about my childhood, and the exciting advances in the computer industry that thrilled me in my youth.  I like watching old episodes of the Computer Chronicles, which are sometimes very amusing because of how things have changed over the years, or the predictions that were way off.  I have all the classic video game anthologies for PS2, and one of my favorite games on my computer is BurgerSpace, a clone of the  classic arcade game BurgerTime.  All in all, I had a happy geeky childhood.

Unfortunately, I also tend to obsess over things that have happened in the past, friendships that fell apart, mistakes I’ve made, and unpleasant people I’ve had to suffer.  When I get in that mode, I become moody and unproductive.  Living in this city and having that problem is a recipe for disaster.  If I’m not productive, I’m not making money.  If I’m not making money, I can’t afford to live.

There is someone who, for my own health, I’ve had to cut out of my life.  There are people on the Internet known as trolls.  In the two years I’ve lived here, I’ve realized that trolls don’t just exist on the Internet.  Because of the influence of this one particular troll, I’ve done things I’m not proud of.  When I finally saw the situation for what it was, I removed myself from it.  Life is too short to feed the trolls.  And yet, from time to time, they still haunt my memory.  There are things I would have done differently, knowing what I know now, but doing anything about this situation short of letting go of it and moving on would be counterproductive.  My obsessing over the past isn’t going to change anything.

I need to learn how to let go and move on.  I think writing helps, so expect more blog posts.  (But don’t worry, I’m so past my emo phase.)

Queer Liberation

If you were to look at where LGBTQ rights organizations seem to be spending all their energy, you would think marriage equality were the end-all-and-be-all.  The reasons for this are straightforward.  With marriage equality comes certain legal rights not guaranteed to domestic partners otherwise.  Last year, my partner was financially dependent on me, yet I could not claim him as a dependent when I filed taxes.  (I still haven’t paid my taxes for this year.  I owe around $25,000.  While I had considered refusing to pay, given that we’re second-class citizens in this country, the fact of the matter is I simply can’t afford to pay.)  Marriage would help us secure other rights as next-of-kin, such as hospital visitation.

It’s necessary to keep in mind that we also live in a world where queer teens are at a high risk for depression and suicide.  Same-sex couples are often not allowed to adopt.  LGBTQ individuals of all walks of life are subject to discrimination and sometimes violence.  Those in same-sex relationships are not allowed to donate blood, even if they are in a monogamous relationship and are both healthy.  The very existence of so-called “reparative therapy” groups promising to “cure” homosexuality contradicts the standards held by health-care professionals and flies in the face of common decency.  Health insurance companies can refuse benefits to domestic partners.  (But God forbid we socialize our healthcare system, and thereby joining THE REST OF THE CIVILIZED WORLD IN RECOGNIZING THAT HEALTH CARE IS A HUMAN RIGHT.  But I digress.)

But the “movement,” by which I mean Marriage Equality and HRC, takes the milquetoast and bourgeois position that marriage equality (and repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell), is all we need.  What we really need is for all families (married or not, monogamous or polyamurous) to get the same legal recognition and rights.  A step forward would be to either make civil marriage available to all people, or do away with civil marriage altogether.  The most fair way to do this would be to abolish civil marriage, change tax laws to allow for a dependent to be any individual who lives at the same address, and make discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity illegal.

There is a lot more I could say on the matter, but I’ll leave it at that for now.