Grieving the loss of a parent

My Mom was always there for me.  Every so often I find myself randomly thinking out of habit “I should call Mom,” and no sooner does the thought enter my mind then I remember that I can’t do that anymore.

After the initial shock and grief wears off, the reality of the situation eventually sets in, and – frankly – it fucking hurts.  I miss her so much.

But as much as I miss her, I’m glad she’s no longer in pain.  And I know she’s still always there for me.  Just not in the same way as before.

Eight True Things (meme)

Ida tagged me with a meme. Yay. I’m supposed to be working on other stuff, but I feeling lazy. Here are the rules:

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

So, without further ado:

1. When I’m wrapped up in work – like I am now – I don’t keep up with current events, and I feel horribly guilty about it. The last time I let that happen, I got blindsided by a war.
2. I love to sew, even though after a few hours it causes my back to ache. Sewing is very therapeutic for me.
3. I’ve successfully given up coffee twice, and both times I was unable to focus on work. So for the time being I’ve given up on giving up.
4. I was a regular smoker for all of 4 days. I went through two packs in those four days, then decided to quit. I was a raging bitch for two days after.
5. I’m a lapsed teetotaler, but I’m back to being a good, non-drinking Buddhist now. I rather call myself a teetotaler than “straight edge” because I like my caffeine.
6. I’m 27 years old and only got my driver’s license this year. I wouldn’t drive if I didn’t have to.
7. I’m a philosophy geek. I minored in philosophy and really enjoy reading Plato, Hegel, Marx, Husserl, Fromm, Dunayevskaya and the like. After trying to read “Was ist das, die Philosophie?” I cannot stand Heidegger. (The whole him being a Nazi thing doesn’t help either.)
   I also love science fiction. I’m a huge fan of Heinlein and Asimov. I’m a little ashamed to admit I enjoyed the whole Matrix Trilogy.
8. When I need to force myself to take a break from my favorite websites (especially the Vegan Freak Forums), I have to take exceptional steps to make sure signing on isn’t easy for me, because I have no will power when it comes to those things. Right now I’m using a site blocker. (Don’t worry, I’ll be back in about a week or so.)

So for now I’m going to be lazy and just tag two people: Andy and Cathy. Maybe I’ll tag more people later. <evil_laugh />